Saving Others from Themselves
Being sensitive and empathic, it’s easy for me to see potential in others. It’s also easy to see the blocks people put up which seem to prevent them from reaching their potential.
I look for my own blocks—plus, I cherish any help I can get to see what I’m not seeing. I prefer to do as much of the work myself so I can make good use of others’ attention spans for and willingness to give their input. Getting to the heart-of-the-matter, and to truth, as quickly as possible is important to me.
That said, I have reflected on the damage I’ve caused myself by seeing someone’s potential and then trying to save him/her from him/herself. I also see how that has been intrusive to others’ free will; thus, creating a relationship where I all but begged the people to be devoted and honest.
So, why have I wanted to save those who I cared about from themselves? Well, first and foremost, it was because I loved them and desired to have a really deep and close relationship with them. However, it was like I tried to push them along in their maturity and growth so I could be with someone who was mature, loyal and collaborative.
Secondly, it was because I subconsciously thought that if I could rescue them from themselves, they would see that they needed me. And I thought if they needed me, they would value me. And if they valued me, they would be loyal to and not betray me.
First, if a person doesn’t want to be his/her best self, if a person wants to live a superficial life, any sort of rescuing is futile. He/she doesn’t want or need to be rescued from the world which he/she chooses to live in.
Second, I don’t want to be needed because of rescuing someone., nor do I want someone who doesn’t want to save themselves.
I have to believe in loyalty and devotion which comes from someone who doesn't need to be rescued. Rather, like me, needs deep connection—much like a professional tennis player needs to play tennis with someone at his/her level. This person is worth waiting for.
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