These People Will Never Choose You

It took me most of my life thus far to finally make a stand for the type of relationship I want and to stop looking at “potential” and tolerating sub-par behaviors with the dream of the other people eventually snapping out of it and choosing me back.

I’m a person who needs deep connection, collaboration, trust, transparency, devotion, and an ally in life. I don’t care about superficial and shallow interactions and attention. Even if a person is fine with my being around him/her, that alone isn’t enough: who that person is and what their intentions are matters to me.

When I choose someone, it means that person is precious to me and I adore them. When I love, I love deeply. But I also need to receive what I have to give my loved one.

Being chosen, then, means someone who also needs a deep connection, collaboration, trust, transparency, devotion, loyalty, faithfulness, compassion, empathy, and an ally in life and chooses you to give that to.

I finally recognize that the type of people who will never choose “you” back are people who

• need an audience

• desire attention from others

• desire to be entertained by others

• are people-pleasers

• are busy-bodies

• are impressed by superficial

• are voyeuristic

• admire others as an audience member

• find nothing and no one sacred and special

• aren’t protective of their bodies or spirits

• aren’t concerned about, discerning and careful of what they expose themselves to (see, hear, do)

• compartmentalize their lives and relationships

• are insincere

• lie, lie by omission, don’t tell the whole truth

• don’t want the truth

• are frauds and two-faced: change who they are, what they say, what they care about, and their values based on who and what they are around

• are okay with tricking, betraying, and manipulating others—especially you

• have a weak moral compass

• have no integrity

• have no remorse for mistakes

• aren’t empathetic: can’t relate to or understand you

• have “romance” type intimacy with themselves

• are addicts

• are superficially pleasured

• seek impulsive pleasures

• no impulse control

• are compulsive

• gossip and smear characters

• are exploitative

• don’t want to mature, learn and grow

• are emotionally immature

• are superficial in their standards and preferences

• are secretive and mysterious

• are sketchy

• are aloof, slippery and stealthy

• don’t want to be known

• talking to them is like pulling teeth: they make it difficult to learn the truth about them, who they are, what they do, what they believe, and what they value

• don’t want to know you

Yes, allow people to be who they are. But don’t waste your time with people who don’t choose you back.

Do you need coaching? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.