Providing Info Versus Being Insensitive

Even though I’m a sensitive person, I’m much more concerned about and interested in knowing who a person is and what he/she is about, than for him/her to censor or be sensitive (tip-toe) with his/her comments, communication, actions and choices.

Secrecy, hiding, lying, altering the truth, withholding information, being fake, and manipulating ones persona and image are much more concerning to me than any sort of insensitive comment.

Allow people the platform to show their true colors via observing for information about who the person is—rather than being concerned about, and trying to educate and correct in them, that which is causing your hurt, disappointed or disturbed feelings.

When getting to know someone new, or waking up from wishful thinking about someone, allow him/her the platform to show his/her true colors.

Don’t fill in the blanks, think for, complete the sentences, or fill in the silence for the person. Sometimes in just a few comments (insensitive or not), it’s easy to begin to determine what the person

1 - is actually thinking

2 - finds important

3 - focuses on

4 - is impressed by

5 - has for standards for him/herself

6 - has for standards for others

7 - stands on and for: morals, values, ethics, and principles

8 - has for routines, schedules, and lifestyle choices

Don’t react. Don’t ask leading questions. Don’t try to change his/her mind. In my experiences, doing any of these things can scare the people who lie and hide—which makes it very difficult to determine if they are a match (let alone, to learn that they lie and hide).

Allow people to be who they are. Appreciate all the information they reveal to you. Don’t have wishful thinking or limerence, nor bank on their “potential.” And then decide for yourself if you want them to be part of your life or not—just as they are, uncensored.

Do you need coaching? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.