Liars are Vacant & Empty
Oh to have someone on this planet who knows me on a deep level. Oh to have someone who knows the good, the bad, and the ugly. Oh to have this same person be trustworthy, loyal and sincere—invested in a fulfilling relationship together.
Because I’ve held this dream, for my entire life, of being known by someone who I love and who loves me, it didn’t even register in my brain that someone who supposedly loved me would lie to me. I wrongfully-assumed someone who loved me naturally wanted this same mutual-knowing experience.
Because it didn’t register, I stayed in a relationship with a liar.
How can it be that someone would choose a partnership, declare his/her love, yet not want to be fully-known by his/her partner? How can it be that some people live a life of lies? How can some people pretend to be, to want and to desire that which isn’t even true?
Where is the joy in that? The authentic fulfillment? The security in life? The confidence that one can handle whatever comes up? The stability of self-knowledge and self-actualization? What about Integrity and character? What is there to stand on and to stand for? What about the ability to connect and bond with loved ones? The ability to authentically love at all?
It’s difficult to wrap my brain around it.
I can only conclude that such people are vacant and empty. Hollow shells—apart from superficial scraps to sustain them, to keep them alive enough to chase their next “hit” of scraps.
Such people must be addicts of sorts—always chasing the next superficial high which helps them ignore their emptiness and shame. Game-players who spend their energy running from the truth and from themselves.
Captive Robots
What a fearful way to live, knowing there is nothing solid to stand on. These people can’t even count on or believe themselves. I’m sure their lies go so deeply, they don’t even know what reality and truth are anymore. They don’t know who they are—just robots chasing scraps.
Liars are held captive and ruled by their lies and deceit. Liars dedicate their lives to serving their lies and to serving their addictions which are needed to escape themselves.
If you’re in a relationship with someone like this, I recommend doing all you can to see this truth: You are dealing with a robot of sorts. A robot that’s programmed to chase scraps. A robot that’s programed to deceive and fool you.
Free yourself by letting go
Accepting this includes grieving the loss of someone who you love. Even though you can see and hear this person, he/she is essentially not really there. I deeply understand the emotional pain of that.
But the good news is, we never have to lose the dream of something real with a person who isn’t a robot, an addict, a fraud. Knowing this makes it easier to let the lost, hopeless love go.
I’m so sorry you had to go through this. But remember, there are many lessons to be learned and healing to be done out of choosing such a person and out of letting the relationship go.
Connection awaits
Knowing each other really well in a trustworthy relationship is one of the most beautiful things on this planet that I can imagine. Don’t give up.
Oh to have someone on this planet who knows me on a deep level. Oh to have someone who knows the good, the bad, and the ugly. Oh to have this same person be trustworthy, loyal and sincere—invested in a fulfilling relationship together.
Do you need coaching? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.